This is the bar I lost my Phone, Wallet, Passport and my Pants.
Paihia is one of the biggest New Zealand “tourist traps” and I spent close to two full weeks there. My plan was to only stay about a week maybe less, there isn’t much to do when you are poor and cant afford a dolphin tour or helicopter ride. The one thing I could afford was alcohol and that was something very new to me. I am 18 and hadn’t ever really been intoxicated until I arrived in Paihia. I made friends with the people at the hostel I was staying at (The Mousetrap Backpacker, Highly recommend 10 out of 10 stars from me)
I made some very good friends very quickly at this backpacker and they convinced me to go out with them over the weekend to the only cheap bar in this small tourist town. It was connected to the “Base Backpacker” and it was about the size of your average living room. It was small and trashy but it worked. We all ventured out down the street to the bottle shop and picked up a liter of cider each (Scrumpy’s cider.)
An important fact about drinking that I was not aware of is when you drink a liter of cider in ten minutes it will not hit you immediately but don’t worry the wall was coming.
We were pumped and tipsy and ready to go to the Pipi Patch club across the street. We got in line to enter the club and after about 20 minutes we were in. I downed another two ciders as fast as a marathon runner and still was not feeling the effects of the alcohol. To be honest I was upset, did I naturally just have a huge tolerance? What was going on why didn’t I feel it. The solution (Or what I thought the solution) SHOTS. We did 2 shots of the cheapest tequila they had and then all at once. I felt it.
I don’t remember much about that night after two tequila shots except for the fact that I did four more after that. I ended up dancing so hard…..I got kicked out of the club. The first club I had ever been in I was banned from. Obviously that was not the end of my night so I walked to the small pub next door (Titos.) Titos is the cutest outdoor pub. They had a bon fire, outdoor couches and an herb garden. So the only logical thing my drunk mind can make up is to throw up in the herb garden and get banned from Titos.
The next step in my night should have been to walk the 20 feet to the backpacker and go to bed but drunk Sam thought much differently. At this point it is one in the morning i’m by myself and honestly just rearing to go. I turned towards the beach instead of across the street and from one in the morning to three in the morning I have absolutely no idea what I had done or where I had gone. The only thing I know or a fact is that I took off my jacket, my shoes, my socks and…..my pants. I walked around Paihia New Zealand for 2 hours in my underwear with absolutely no idea where or when I was going to find home.
Its 3am and I finally find my way home. One of my roommates (A very attractive german guy) said the next day that he watched me crawl up the rock driveway in my underwear and wife beater for 15 minutes before he came out to help me. I looked down to see the dried blood and cuts all up my leg.
Some things that I learned and realized when I woke up is that hangovers are no joke, tequila is not my friend and I have no idea where my pants are.
My jeans had my phone, wallet and passport in the pockets. The only reason I had my passport was because to get into a club you need to show ID and the only ID most clubs accept from international backpackers is a passport and It was gone. I walked around this town day and night for days and days asking random people if they had seen a pair of jeans covered in throw up with very important travel documents in them. Nobody had seen anything so I was discouraged and scared that I was going to be trapped in the country and go to jail and every possible scenario went through my brain. A week later I was seconds from canceling my passport and applying for a new one when an old woman named Frankie showed up with a plastic bag full of puke pants and all of my stuff. I thanked her by taking her to the only other bar I was not banned from and buying her a beer and myself a water…
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